It was early March of 1997 when I pulled a copy of Dianetics off the fiction shelf of my local library. I had read Dracula and Frankenstein and other outrageous books -- so, why not Dianetics? I wanted to know what actually was behind the TV advertisement of the exploding Dianetics volcano.

     I read a chapter or so every night before going to bed. It was amazing to learn about the two minds we all have -- the analytical mind and the reactive mind.

     My analytical mind being the concious, aware mind which thinks, observes data, remembers it and resolves problems, My reactive mind being the mind which works on a totally stimulus response basis -- and works to tell me in a given situation "don't think about it, here is what you are to do" or "don't think about it, here is what you feel," and so on.

     I now know why I had times in my life where I was depressed for no special reason, why I was afraid to speak or succeed, why I was a follower instead of a leader, why I couldn't appreciate what I had, why I wasn't sociable, why I did very little with my time other than work, why I couldn't find happiness no matter what I tried or did, etc. etc. etc. It is all due to the fearful, painful moments of my past, trapped and hidden in my reactive mind -- exerting force on me to make me react instead of think.

     Through Dianetics and Scientology, I have been able to tap into a lot of the information contained in my reactive mind -- and discover why I've done some of the stupid things I did. By knowing some of these answers why, I've become a person who analyzes data under pressure. Until I can fully tap into all of the knowledge contained in my reactive mind, I'm learning more and more all the time, by taking various Scientology courses -- how to push away my reactive mind.

     And oh, the volcano? Well, that represents to me the tremendous amount of energy that gets released upon discovering things trapped in my reactive mind. I'm so much more calm and collected when all around seems madness. I'm extremely thankful for what Dianetics and Scientology have done for me. I am becoming somebody I could admire and look up to.